Are you the tragic victim or damsel in distress in your life’s tale, waiting for the white knight that may never come, or are you the heroine who will save herself?
We all have a story about our life. For many of us, it is our very own personal pity story that we have been telling other people for years – often even decades! Usually the story contains a long list about why your life doesn’t work, what happened to you in the past and who is to blame for our life failing to turn out how you expected. Our stories can cover our career, relationship, finances or any other area of our life.
Stories often sound like this:
‘It is my partners/mothers/bosses fault I am not happy. They stop me from doing what I want to and I just never feel confident or assertive around them. It's no wonder I haven’t got any confidence.’
'That is my families fault. They always put me down and never approve of what I am doing. Nobody ever encourages me or listens to what I have to say.’
'Nobody pays any attention to me so there is no point in asking for any changes'
Many of us have gotten so fond of telling this story that we live our life according to it. We make excuses and blame the past. We get so fond of our story that we tell it to everyone we meet. We often use this ‘story’ as a justification for being the person we are today and it becomes our excuse for not moving forward and taking action.
Your story is NOT your friend.
You probably don’t want to hear this but your story is not your best friend. It’s just a smelly old security blanket that you have been clinging onto for TOO LONG!
Basically you have handed over your power to your story and stopped taking responsibility for yourself as an adult.
Why should I let go of my story?
When we keep repeating the story of what happened to us in the past we are actually keeping that situation alive. Each time we focus our energy on it, we are just re-creating it. We need to move on and quit carrying this story around like a badge. It’s just old baggage.
Most of our stories still have negative energy or emotions attached to them so in doing this exercise below, we will begin to release any negative energy tied to the story which may be holding you back or keeping you stuck.
So, pick up a pen and some paper and let’s get started:
1) Take at least 30 minutes to write down your story. All of it. Every little juicy
detail that you have been telling yourself for years. Don’t miss anything
out; it’s your story so you should know it inside out.
2) For the next ten days, I want you to look in the mirror every day and tell
your story to yourself at least twice day. Now this shouldn’t be that
difficult as you must have told it hundreds of times to others in the past!
3) Re-write your story on how you now want your life to be.
Lisa Phillips is a Professional Speaker, workshop facilitator and Life and Confidence Coach based in Sydney. She is the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ and a regular speaker and facilitator on topics such as Employee engagement and confidence. To find out more, please see www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.au or www.amazingcoaching.com.au
Lisa appears regularly in the Media, on TV, Radio and Print.