Today we are going to talk about the importance of personal boundaries and how you may feel if you allow someone to over step or walk all over your boundaries. You need to set clear boundaries in all areas of your life, be it in your career, relationships, with work colleagues or family members.
Setting good boundaries is healthy and Empowering
Have you ever walked away from a person, event or situation and felt resentful or violated? If some of your experiences are making you uncomfortable, then it may be time to set some personal boundaries. Setting good boundaries is healthy. It is not rude, bad or wrong. Let me repeat that….. it is not bad or rude to set boundaries! Unfortunately, many people believe that they should not speak up or set boundaries just in case it hurts another's feelings.
However, if we don’t have good boundaries in place we will end up feeling resentful and upset. Not speaking up gives out the message that the emotional wellbeing of the person who has hurt you is more important that your own emotional wellbeing. The result is that you are happy to protect another person’s feeling – but not your own.
The Good Boundaries
Good boundaries prevent you from being hurt and allow you to feel safe in your environment. They also assist others in knowing where they stand with you and let others know what you want and what you don’t want. A boundary is a limit that defines you as being separate from another person.
So when it comes to how people treat us emotionally, we will all have limits on what we find safe and acceptable.
Here are some examples of weak emotional boundaries:
An important point to note
When you allow someone to treat you in an upsetting way, the other person will not learn that this is not acceptable behaviour. Protecting yourself and setting healthy boundaries is necessary for both parties.
Once you learn to educate others on what you do or do not find acceptable behaviour towards you, you will notice that some will comply easily with the request – some may however continue to treat you badly. Try a few of these statements to help you get the message across:
Practice makes perfect and good boundaries require constant maintenance but they will improve the quality of your life!
Lisa Phillips is a Professional Speaker, Author and Life and Confidence Coach based in Sydney, Australia. Lisa features regularly in the media and has her own life coaching radio show. Lisa regularly speaks at conferences, and runs workshops for teams, wellness days and staff development days. To find out more, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.au
Lisa appears regularly in the Media, on TV, Radio and Print.