Times have changed. Gone are the days where you could just give your staff and order and expect them to simply get on with it, regardless of whether they agreed with you or not! This approach may still work for your baby boomer employees but if you have a workforce filled with Gen Y's then in order to be an effective manager, you need to change your approach.
Employee coaching is a great technique that when used properly, gives you the opportunity to improve and discuss employees performance regularly, allowing your staff to grow through feedback and mentoring. Much more effective than the once a year performance appraisal!
Please see below five of my top reasons to effectively coach your employees:
1. Make sure you are clear on coaching methodologies and questionnning techniques. Get trained up yourself and follow a consistent coaching model to improve staff engagement and performance. Make sure you practice your coaching skills regularly.
2. Find out from your staff what they like to do and why. Discuss with them which part of their job makes them feel fulfilled and happy and be open to new or modified roles for employees. If possible, work with your employees to find a role that suites their values, passions and aptitude.
3. Take time to find out what type of communication methods work well for your employees. Ok, the Gen X and baby boomers may prefer face to face conversation or email, but the Gen Y's just love instant messages! Coach your employees and find out what you need to do to effectively communicate with them. Make sure you mould your communication style to fit the person you are working with. This will lead to greater understanding and build rapport more easily. It's not just the communication method that's important, this also includes your choice of words, body language and personal boundaries.
4. Listen. Sounds obvious but I mean really listen. If your mind is wondering off worrying about deadlines or other stuff you need to get done then you are not actively listening. Get present in the moment before speaking to people and give them the pleasure of your undivided attention.
5. Understand different Values and personalities. Be aware that all employees will have a differing value structure so tap into these different motivators. Good employee coaching adapts to the unique style and needs of the person being coached.
What a great news! the media is at last doing something positive when it comes to Self - Esteem!
Dani Pola from the radio show SEA FM is launching a Self-esteem Team Challenge for women to sign up to for a week for expert tips and interviews on self-esteem.
As part of this, Lisa Phillips, Sydney Speaker and Empowerment Coach will be presenting a 2 hour workshop on Self Esteem for over 70 attendees! You can also listen to Lisa being interviewed on Monday on the breakfast show with Dani and Nathan.
To find out more about this campaign, watch this space and check this link out.
Lack of Confidence restricts you from going forward
Do you find it difficult to be Confident and Assertive?
Do you suffer from a lack of confidence of self-esteem?
If so, you are not alone!
As a coach with over 12 years’ experience, this is one of the main issues that I help people overcome during my coaching sessions.
It doesn’t matter whether you are a Company Director or stay at home mum; a lack of confidence can rear its ugly head in any area of your life and can really restrict you from moving forward and doing what you really would love to do.
Take a few minutes to think about your own lack of confidence or self-esteem. How has this held you back over the years? Has it stopped you asking for that pay rise, putting yourself forward for that great job or has it resulted in someone taking advantage of you or treating you like a doormat?
Thankfully (with a bit of work and willingness) it is something that can be easily resolved and the difference it can make in someone’s life is priceless!
Interestingly, one of key obstacles people encounter when practising to be more confident or assertive is that they realise they really have a bigger Fear that is holding them back - the fear of what could happen if they do start to change.
It sounds a little crazy but more than often it is the fear of what ‘may happen’ that can actually stop is taking action.
These fears keep us small and comfortable and often relate to how other people will react towards us if we do begin to become a more confident and assertive person.
Some common fears which may hold us back include:
Although staying small may feel more comfortable or the easy option, it often ends up in resentment, frustration and blaming other people for situations we find ourselves in.
Do you end up saying yes to attend functions even though you don’t really want to?
Do you feel obliged to do things because you want to be seen as a nice girl or you don’t want to let anyone else down?
Do you end up saying Yes when you really mean No?
Ok, it may seem the easier option but at what cost to yourself? The chances are you will end up feeling resentful or blame other people (and yourself!) for asking you in the first place!
In my article today, I am going to start with sharing some of my top tips for increasing your confidence and also changing the habit of always trying to be a people pleaser.
If you think you haven’t got the time or maybe you believe you are too busy, then think again! Many of these will only take a few minutes of your time or can be done when you are in the shower or perhaps brushing your teeth each morning. Remember, surely you are worth a few minutes of your own time.
Here's my tips to increasing your confidence:
1) Write a list of things that you like about yourself and your positive qualities. These could be the fact you are helpful, creative, traits or the fact that you get things done on time. Make sure you write down at least twenty!
2) Each day affirm to yourself (at least ten times if you can!) ‘ My self-esteem is growing every day’ and ‘ I am a valuable, loveable person and I deserve the very best’
3) Quit comparing yourself to others. Remind yourself that there will always be some people who have more than you, and some people who have less. Comparing yourself to others will NOT make you feel good about yourself.
4) The next time you feel yourself saying Yes, when you really want to say No – ask yourself who you are trying to please? Then, decide to please yourself instead. Don’t fear feeling uncomfortable, this is a sign that you are learning to look after our own needs!
5) Try not to worry what people will think if you do say No or act assertive around them. The right people will respect you and your boundaries. If someone continues to twist your arm, just use the broken record technique.
6) Remind yourself that you are HUMAN. Quit beating yourself up for not being perfect. Vow each day to praise yourself, not criticize yourself. This takes practise but even if you stop yourself from criticising yourself just once then
you are making great progress.
7) If you are surrounded by negative people or energy vampires, this will make you feel bad about yourself and will lower your self-esteem. However, if you surround yourself with positive and supportive people you will feel better about yourself and this will raise your self-esteem.
8) Each night before you go to bed, think about (or write down if you wish) five successful things you have done that day. This could be as simple as getting to work on time, helping a friend or cooking a healthy dinner.
9) Set yourself a target of saying No at least twice a week. It will be scary at first but after a few times, you will feel empowered and fabulous.
10) Be true to yourself. Make sure you are living your own life and not the life someone else wishes you live. If you feel nervous about standing up for yourself etc, make this one of your mini goals. You won’t develop self-esteem if you sit on the sidelines and don’t push yourself to take risks and new challenges.
Remember, we are all capable of being confident and having high self-esteem. In doing the steps above, you will also start to take more risks and be less concerned with making a fool of yourself or failing. One of the additional benefits is also being less concerned about what others think of you or seeking approval from others.
Most importantly is the fact that you will feel far more comfortable in your own skin and feel at peace with the wonderful person you really are.
Does the thought of being assertive scare you to death? Why do so many of us find this difficult?
I get it, being assertive means taking a risk and standing up for ourselves. For many of us, it is not just the act of assertiveness which terrifies us, but the fear of the consequences. We often fear something terrible will happen or that we may be judged negatively. For the ' people pleasers' amongst us - we often fear that people won't like us anymore or we may appear mean and selfish.
In most of my client coaching sessions, I find that being assertive is often so frightening for some that they would prefer to swallow their feelings, keep quiet or just put up with the situation, often feeling resentful underneath or harboring a secret grudge! However, have you ever taken the time to look at what your lack of assertiveness is really costing you with regards to your self esteem and emotional wellbeing?
The Cost of ' Keeping Quiet'
Being assertive means openly communicating your feelings, opinions, and rights in an honest and direct way. It is not aggression, nor is it about taking a passive or ‘doormat’ position. When we learn to be assertive, we put boundaries in place which show people how we expect to be treated. Assertive people recognize their value and realize that their needs are wants are just as important as everyone elses.
Unfortunately, if we are people pleasers and suppress how we really feel, we put ourselves at risk of people to walking all over us and becoming a doormat. Believe me, there are people in our lives who will take advantage of this whether it is in our families, career or relationships.
When we lack good assertiveness skills, we often say Yes, when we really would like to say No and deep down, there is a belief that what other people want is more important than what we want. Unfortunately, in doing this, we are not empowering ourselves to live our life how we really would like to lead it! In actual fact, we are giving our power away to other people or situations and can ultimately end up feeling resentful, angry or hopeless.
Tips to Try
You can learn to be assertive but please don't scare yourself into thinking that it will be difficult. Often, when we practice assertiveness, we panic and fear the consequences and that can make us feel stuck. When beginning to learn confidence and assertive skills, we often fear the ‘uncomfortable.’ A great tip is not to fear this uncomfortable feeling - all it means is that you are doing something different. Praise yourself!
Here are a few of my top tips for assertiveness:
Lisa appears regularly in the Media, on TV, Radio and Print.