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Affirmations for Building Confidence

8/28/2014

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For confidence affirmations, I recommend building them up gradually rather than starting with direct statements such as ‘I am confident’.

This can be too much of a stretch for some people and can lead to the belief that the affirmation is not working.

The idea is to feel good about the affirmation – so concentrate on the feeling rather than the words.

1) To start, use affirmations such as:

  • Wouldn’t it be nice if I felt more confident?
  • I am really looking forward to feeling more confident
Say the above affirmations until you start to feel comfortable.

2) Then move onto:
  • I am beginning to feel more confident
  • I like the fact that my confidence is growing every day
3) When these affirmations start to feel more comfortable, then move onto these suggestions:

  • I now feel more confidence in my life
  • I am confident
  • My self-esteem is growing every day
 


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Do You Think it is OK?

8/15/2014

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As well as being a super duper life coach, I also do some work in the Corporate World, primarily in the training and engagement arena.

For me, working in large corporate environments can be fun or bloody tragic - especially when I come across unhappy people, hating their jobs and quite often, suffering workplace bullying by their superiors or in some cases, their peers. 

A recent study in the U.S showed that workplace bullying is now more common than sexual harassment, and over 37 million people in the workplace had been bullied at some time.

In my first role in Australia, I too suffered workplace bullying by a total knob of a man. I can laugh about this experience now but at the time, it is a different story. I felt undermined, confused and isolated.

What is bullying in the workplace?

Incivility: rudeness and discourteous verbal and non-verbal behaviors.

Bullying: persistently criticizing employees' work; yelling; repeatedly reminding employees of mistakes; spreading gossip ; ignoring or excluding workers; and insulting employees' habits, attitudes or private life.

Interpersonal conflict: behaviors of hostility, verbal aggression and angry exchanges.

So why, in the workplace does a bully get away with it?

Are people so fearful for their jobs that they just stand by and let it happen to others? Are people allowing a workplace bully to walk all over them and take it because they have to pay the mortgage?

In a recent role in the Corporate world, I came across a situation where the bullying culprit was in fact, a very high up Director. Did anyone do anything about it? No. Even Middle management failed to stand up for their staff or intervene when the bullying appeared to make it's way down to their own direct reports.

I know I am on my high horse and many people have important reasons why they stay in unhappy job roles, but to allow this type of bullying to go on just saddens and disappoints me. When did it become ok to stand by and watch it happen to someone else without saying something?

When did it become ok to stick our heads in the sand and pretend that it never happened? When did it become ok to make excuses for the bully in the hope that the complaint will 'go away'?

Personally, I applaud the whistleblower or the person who stands up to a workplace bully and says 'This isn't ok'. Surely we can't allow these behaviours to continue, nor can we allow ourselves to enable these poor behaviours by letting our own fears rule the show? As children, it is a hard situation to handle, but surely by adulthood, we’ve grown the ‘tackle’ to tackle this childish behaviour?

I know each of us has free will in whether we choose to stand up and complain, or whether we choose to suffer in silence, but please remember, sometimes we need to say NO - This behaviour is not acceptable and stand up for our own basic human rights as a human being, which includes being treated with respect and common courtesy. 

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August 09th, 2014

8/10/2014

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Are you a Worrier or a Warrior?

8/5/2014

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Hi everyone and I hope you are all doing well and taking good care of yourself.

One of the most common topics I come across in my coaching is when people worry too much. So, if you are one of life’s born worriers, check out the hints and tips in today’s article and become a Warrior, not a Worrier!

I think everyone would admit to being a worrier at one time – a small amount of worrying is normal but some people seem to have made a rather bad habit of it. Once acquired, the habit of worrying can be difficult to stop and some of us feel irresponsible if we don’t worry about things. Somehow we think it has become our ‘job’ to worry!

In actual fact, worrying is never useful. Let’s get honest, does it really help anyone? No! Also, statistics show that 95% of our worries never happen so it really is a complete waste of time that leaves us feeling stressed out and anxious.

Often our worries snowball and we allow our imagination to run away with us. Horrible thoughts of imagined threats and terrible things happening. The trouble is, the more you worry, the bigger your worries become. Some people then even worry about all the time they have spent worrying!

Our worries can show up in many forms. We worry about the future, the present and things which may have happened years ago (note….isn’t it time you let it go?). We worry about what people think about us, our families and whether we are successful and what will happen to us in the years ahead.

You may also find yourself worrying about events or circumstances which you don’t have any control over. One of the key traits in a worrier is they don’t think they can handle what does happen and this is often down to a lack of self-confidence. The truth of the matter is however, that if we knew we could handle anything life throws at us, then we wouldn’t worry about the outcome so much.

Here are a few of my top tips for releasing worries:

  1. Start a worry journal and write your worries down. It will help just getting your worries out of your body and onto paper. This is really useful to do last thing at night before you go to sleep.
  2. Allow yourself 30 minutes a day to worry about things and then STOP. Schedule in ‘worry time’ in your diary and stick to it!
  3. Take action to resolve your worries quickly. The moment the worry enters your head, immediately address it and let it go. Write a plan if you need to.
  4. Stop taking responsibility for everyone and everything! Let go and let people live their own lives. Making mistakes is a normal part of life.
  5. Accept that a lot of things in life are completely out of your control. Just let go and see what happens.
  6. Remind yourself that if the worst does happen, you can handle it! Seriously, what is the worst that could happen?

That’s all for now, have a fabulous week and take care of yourself.

Lisa

Do you need some more help on taking care of yourself? If so please check out my great range of self-development eBooks at www.amazingcoaching.com.au and  http://www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.au/
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    Lisa appears regularly in the Media, on TV, Radio and Print.

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