Sixteen years ago when I first trained to become a certified Life Coach, I remember the trainer explaining the concept of gratitude and the frequency of words. The benefits of gratitude are well-researched and science is now proving that people who practice gratitude experience more loving, forgiving and optimistic lives. In addition, grateful people report fewer illnesses and experience a higher sense of overall wellbeing.
However, I also remember struggling to find that actual feeling of gratitude in my body. To be honest, it wasn’t that I didn’t have anything to feel grateful about, it was simply that the word gratitude didn’t feel that good to me! As a result, although I tried to regularly practice an attitude of gratitude – it did feel like hard work and a struggle.
Fast forward a few years and I began studying the teachings of Abraham Hicks. In his teachings, Abraham talks about the frequency of words and how different words hold different frequencies e.g. the word Anger has a lower vibration that the word Joyful. (Please also see the work of Dr. Masaru Emoto).
This really resonated with me and I began to play with what words personally held a higher frequency for me. Higher frequency words are simply words which feel good to me and / or I experience positive emotion when I think about them.
In his teachings, Abraham also speaks about the use of the word appreciation as a replacement for the word Gratitude. The good news is that I found it far more natural and easy for me to tap in feelings of appreciation and as a result, I now have an appreciation journal now rather than a gratitude journal!
The point I am trying to make here is not only do words hold different vibrations, but each word may hold a different vibration depending on the beliefs and experiences of the person saying it. This is a really important concept for me to use when working with my coaching clients.
For example, I was recently working with a client who wanted to increase the amount of happiness in her life. However, for her personally, the word happiness held a low vibration as she often felt it was something she didn’t deserve and felt happiness was always something just out of her reach. However, when finding a replacement for the word happiness, we discovered the word Wellbeing held a higher frequency for this particular client.
The good news that this simple change for word began a far easier process for my client to being open to receiving large amounts of Wellbeing in her life!
Think about some of the words that you use – how do they feel when you use them? Remember, the law of attraction is not responding to your words – it is responding to the feeling about the word. This week why not choose words which make you feel good and resonate with you?
Lisa Phillips is a Sydney based Life and Confidence Coach. Lisa is also the author of 'The Confidence Coach' and is a popular public speaker. For more information, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au and www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com
I regularly talk about self praise – in fact, it is one of the key tips in several of my keynote speaker topics such as ‘How to be Your Own Best Friend’ or ‘How to Engage and Empower Your Staff’. (Please see www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com)
In discussing the importance of self praise whether it is with coaching clients or when speaking at an wellbeing event or conference, there is often a lot of resistance to be felt from my audience!
Unfortunately, many of us have negative beliefs both from society and our families, that it is ‘wrong’ in some way to give ourselves a well deserved pat on the back. We often believe that it is arrogant or simply unnecessary. Many people also don’t believe they deserve to bestow this kindness on themselves and hook into phrases such as ‘Self Praise is no praise’ or ‘Self Praise is no recommendation’.
Contrary to the above, clients often come to me to be coached as they are desperate for someone outside of themselves to praise them. I hear phrases like ‘My boss never says well done’, or ‘I never know where I stand’.
Isn’t it amusing that we are on the search for praise from other people but are not willing to give it to ourselves? In fact, we look for others to validate us through external praise, but are not willing to validate ourselves.
Thankfully, science is also starting to show the positive effects of self praise on our brain and that it can actually assist us to learn new habits more successfully.
Even more importantly for me, is how regular self praise can build up strong self esteem, inner confidence and encourages a positive view of self. In addition, self praise actually feels good on the body and will cause you to move ‘downstream’. (Please see Lisa’s other blogs for information on her Downstream concept).
Giving yourself some well deserved praise and acknowledgement may also prevent you seeking it so desperately from other people. Remember, you cannot ever rely on anyone else to boost your self esteem or give you the validation that you require. If you are continually searching for praise from other people, you will only end up disappointed. To be honest, it is not other peoples responsibility to praise or validate you. However, you can choose right now to give yourself the gift of self praise.
Try these simple methods:
Lisa Phillips is a Life and Confidence Coach based in Australia. She is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ – (Exile Publishing). To find out more about Lisa, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or to book Lisa to speak at your event, please see www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.
Lisa appears regularly in the Media, on TV, Radio and Print.