Let's be honest, life has its ups and downs. However, the amount of happiness (and achievement of your desires) you experience has a lot to do with how you personally handle life's downturns.
Many of us, who may lack resilience skills, find that our emotions feel like having a feather inside of us. In this I mean that life tends to knock us around emotionally, depending on the conditions we are experiencing around us. It is all very well when life is going well, but when things knock you around, it is like the feather gets blown around in the wind taking your emotions on a roller coaster ride.
'Downturns' in life are inevitable, but you can make a choice not to hang out as a feather and instead, choose to have a rock inside of you. In this I mean that you can remain positive, stable and grounded, regardless of the conditions around you.
When coaching or public speaking, I use the adage of 'What end of the stick are you holding'. I came across this while attending an Abraham Hicks cruise earlier last year.
Think about it, when life has an unexpected turn, what end of the stick do you grab onto? Is it the end of the stick that represents negative emotions such as frustration, anger, hopelessness or despair? Or do you care enough about how you feel to reach for the positive end of the stick which represents encouragement, comfort, releasing resistance and ultimately a feeling of wellbeing?
There are always two ways to look at any situation. However, there really is only one question you need to ask yourself - are you choosing the end of the stick that will feel good to you, or the end of the stick that will only bring more negative momentum?
The key is that you need to care more about how you feel and use soothing and encouraging words that help you reach for better feelings and head towards the positive end of the stick. Please refer to past blogs on www.amazingcoaching.com.au for tips on how to soothe yourself into a better feeling place.
Lisa Phillips is a Keynote Speaker, Life and Confidence Coach based in Australia. Lisa is also the author of 'The Confidence Coach' (Exile Publishing). To find out more about Lisa or to book her to speak at your event, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.au
As a Confidence and Life coach with over 16 years experience, the majority of my clients decide to engage my services as they feel there is something happening in their life which doesn’t feel good. Or, to put it another way, they are finally fed up with feeling bad and want to do something about it! During my first consultation with a new client, I often congratulate my clients on actually listening to their body. It’s a great first step and an acknowledgement that the client has a personal desire to feel better.
However, many of us have just got used to feeling ‘bad’ or feeling negative emotions. It is almost as if we have given up and have simply accepted that to feel negative emotion is normal. This could relate to life in general on in a specific area of life.
Take a minute to think about your life in general. Do you regularly experience negative emotion at work? Perhaps it is your financial situation that you consistently feel bad about? Is it your confidence or self esteem that you have just accepted as being low?
Often people accept negative feelings as they have simply just got used to them. In addition, many of us have a ‘poor me story’ about why our life never seems to work on in this particular area.
The problem is that the more we experience the negative emotion, the more we just expect to feel ‘bad’. This then becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Remember, negative beliefs lead to negative thoughts, which in turn lead to negative expectations and negative experiences.
So why is that that although we are aware that something doesn’t feel good – we just keep on doing it anyway?
Every person is different with a unique set of beliefs but a good place to start is to look at your beliefs and expectations about feeling good. Be honest, do you just expect life to be difficult for you or do you believe that you don’t deserve to feel good or experience wellbeing in all areas of your life?
It doesn’t matter what individual topic I am working on with a client, or what keynote speech I am presenting on, they all come back to the following – ‘You need to care more about how you Feel‘.
This sounds so simple doesn’t it – but most of us don’t pay enough attention to our feelings. As a result, we have just got used to feeling bad most of the time.
The truth is that wellbeing is our natural state and if you really want to have a happy fulfilling life, you need to care more about how you feel. In doing this, you will care enough about yourself and your wellbeing, to care about experiencing positive emotions and moving from feeling ‘bad’ into ‘feeling good’.
Lisa Phillips is a Keynote Speaker, Life and Confidence Coach based in Australia. Lisa is also the author of ‘The Confidence Coach’ (Exile Publishing). To find out more about Lisa or to book her to speak at your event, please see www.amazingcoaching.com.au or www.howtoempoweryourstaff.com.au
Lisa appears regularly in the Media, on TV, Radio and Print.